I’ve Done My Best to Raise My Kids As Well As I Could

When I’ve blogged about how childhood issues, traumas and even disappointments follow us into our adult lives, I’ve done so with the niggling suspicion that people may read these posts as blaming our parents for all of our troubles. Imagine my relief when Maté addressed this head-on in his bestselling, The Myth of Normal.
“Parents do their loving best…However noble our intentions, our ability to carry them out is heavily influenced by our own early experiences and unresolved traumas, by the social expectations we are charged with transmitting to our children, and by the stresses of life.” Maté then quotes James Garbarino (1995), “We need to put aside blaming parents and take a good hard look at the challenge of raising children in a socially toxic environment.” (Maté. The Myth of Normal. 2022. Pg 180).
These are challenging considerations to ask ourselves: Do I blame my parents for my problems today? Do my children blame me for their problems?