Interpersonal biology

As Maté points out our culture, in particular our songs and poetry, is full of references to how we affect each other. Some examples are “weak in the knees, shot through the heart, etc”. We know that other people can have an actual physical (visceral) effect on us. The closer we are to people, the more our physiology interacts with theirs. The death of a loved one can literally feel like a piece of your heart has died with them.

The study of interpersonal biology in intimate relationships has shown that married people have lower death rates than single people. Men benefit from the protection of interpersonal biology 5 times more than women and Maté points out that is directly related to the roles of gender in our culture.

While the protective health benefits of interpersonal biology extend to people who were married but are now widowed, divorced or separated, they do not extend to unhappily married people who are worse off in terms of their health than unmarried people.

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