The Healing Journey

Apparently healing is less of a deliberate, thought-out process than it is an intuitive one. We can’t think our way to health. Our big, beautiful brains aren’t as helpful as our heart. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross knew this when she famously outlined five stages of the journey through traumatic loss: anger, denial, bargaining, grief and acceptance. Tellingly, the last two stages are stages felt in the heart while the first three are in the mind.
Maté argues that sinking into acceptance of our circumstances and embracing them is the way forward. The only power we have, when we find ourselves in horrible circumstances, is the power which lies in our attitude toward our circumstances.
Analyzing this I come to the conclusion that if I am in constant pain, the only power I have is to choose how I cope with that. I can be a victim of the constant pain and I can make everyone around me miserable with my anger and grief. I can diminish my pain by numbing it and my mind with drugs to where I no longer recognize myself or my life. I can live with the pain and recognize its highs and lows, surfing its waves, fully aware of everything around me. Or I can do a combination of two or more of these approaches, tailoring them to my needs. The choice is mine and in that choice is power. My healing begins in knowing where my journey starts and how much strength I have to undertake the journey.
Readers of this blog will recognize the similarity between Maté;s words, Kubler-Ross’s concept and Viktor Frankl’s famous quote: Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.