Authenticity

Authenticity is the first healing principle, according to Gabor Maté. This is something that is hard to put into words, i.e. it is felt rather than described. You instinctively know when you, or someone else, is being authentic. To be authentic, we have to accept ourselves as we are. This means not striving to fit into someone else’s or society’s notion of what we should be. This means not being afraid of being disliked or of disappointing someone. It means accepting our “negative” qualities as being part of who we are.

If I was repeatedly told as a child that I was lazy and this was not acceptable in a family that values hard work, then I would grow up thinking that being lazy is a negative trait. If, however, I view laziness as “self-care” and as being just one facet of who I am, then the burden of disappointing my family is gone.

I’m me and laziness, or self-care, is part of who I am.